Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
