Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
