Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I need a beard to bite.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize