Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
is that a dick in a sweater?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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