That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
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