We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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