Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
