worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
