I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
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