I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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