you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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