its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
