You're completely useless in the revolution.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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