theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
