You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
