And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
