He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
