After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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