apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
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Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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