when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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