oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
