And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
