I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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