I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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