areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I think I am morally bankrupt
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
