Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
