Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
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He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
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You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize