Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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