And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
