girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
