Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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