Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
