i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
