How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
