Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize