I could have mohawked her pubes.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
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he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
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I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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