Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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