My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I don't think brook has ever known best
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
