We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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