"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I see more hoeing in ur future
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