Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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