whats a polygalesbian?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I should be sponsored by Trojan
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...