In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.