great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
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I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help