I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.