Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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