u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
