Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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