He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
