wanna go halves on a baby?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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