Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize