I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
