I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
