That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
