I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
