so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Randomize
