I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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