How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
