so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
