My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize