Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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