God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
