i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
