Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
